In the end it's just him and I.

Over Christmas this year TJ's family and us had a "falling out." Needless to say we did not spend the Christmas holidays with his family as we wanted to surround ourselves around people who love, appreciate, and respect us. Why wouldn't you want that during the holidays right?

Apparently that's not how his family see things. We were being immature and disrespectful for not spending time with his family.

After seeing conversation between my sister in law and my brother in law's girlfriend it was apparent that they did not want my company during the holiday season. After receiving many text messages and my eyes swollen with tears it was apparent that no matter how difficult for him, TJ understands the concept of being a husband. He stood by my side every step of the way. Even when I stated, "I'm not going to take you away from your family, please spend time with them, but I'm going to be with my family," he declined. He simply stated that if his family was going to treat me like that they were disrespecting him as well. He did not want to partake in any holiday celebrations with them.

Now I am faced with a dilemma. This weekend is Guard Drill weekend. Generally this is when I would go back to TJ's hometown with him and spend time with his family. There is one simple problem. I am not comfortable in the least stepping foot in his parents house, especially without him there with me. He'll be gone a majority of the time at drill so I'll be with his family who apparently wants nothing to do with me. Not a picture perfect scenario.

Then we have July coming up. This is TJ's grandparents 50th Ann. party and family reunion. I would love to be there for his grandparents as I absolutely adore them. However knowing who else will be there; Michelle, Gina, Carisa; do I really want to put myself in that position for 4 days?

Am I being selfish? Am I over analyzing? Am I being true to TJ but not wanting anything to do with his family?

All of these things cross my mind everyday. This is not easy for me as it's always been so important to be accepted as part of my husband's family. As far as I knew, I was. Then all this came out at Christmas about how horrible of a person I am... all because of a simple gift exchange. The way things had been going TJ and I thought it be best if we drew names for gifts in his family as there are 8 people. The limit was set at $20 or whatever you can afford--- what's the point of a limit if you do whatever you afford? Well we can afford well over $20 and the others may only be able to afford $10 right? Well I said that you have to set a limit at a number or between this and this so you don't end up with one $5 and one $30 gift.

Apparently that meant that I was only going to spend $5. Seriously for any of those that truly know me... I enjoy giving more than receiving. I also tend to spend a little too much money on gifts... it's a weakness of mine.

Since then I've been calls multiple names from his family and no one thought, "hey maybe we need to talk to Jenna instead of making accusations."

The worst part- TJ's parents didn't even bother to get the story from us, rather they simply took the precious little girls' word for it.

Morale of the story, if at any point in time I am comfortable enough to face his family --- Shut Up! I will no longer voice my concern, I will no longer speak my mind, and I will no longer voice my opinion. When I am asked to speak I will. When I am in general conversation I will keep it to 'yes' 'no' responses. I will give respect where respect is due --- all others will need to regain it. I will trust no one other than myself and my husband. I will never feel accepted and will never feel appreciated.

TJ has married now. He is no longer the son that he used to be as he has a family of his own -- Me and Him. Simply because he is not at their every beck and call does not mean that they have to disown him. If he's happy shouldn't they be happy for him?

I can go on and on with this simply because it is a sore spot for me every day. However simply because his mother did not forgive us when we asked for forgiveness it just goes to show me that it's not worth the worries, stress, and constant concern any longer.

Our life will go on as we choose it to. His family may or may not be involved in it.

All that matters is that in the end it's just him and I... and we're happy with that.